If anyone is in Christ, he is
a new creation. Old things have passed away behold all things have become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Late at night, laid on my bed lost
in my thoughts. Thinking about life, what it used to be like, what I used to do
thinking they were my gateway to a fun and fulfilled life. How wrong was I? I
never knew there was something called being saved, I was never brought up in
church or stepped my feet in a church before, so I didn’t have an idea what
living in Jesus was like but then that changed. The fateful day my life changed,
I never knew it could have changed, I didn’t know I could ever find peace, I
thought life could never be good or fair to me but God knew me as His creation
and he never forgot me.
As usual, I had just been battered
by my boyfriend. He was very lovely and he showed me all the love and care I
didn’t get from my own father who ran away long before I was even born. I felt
I needed a male figure in my life to give me love, so I started searching for
love in the hands of men who had that love to offer. They all knew my weakness
and that was exactly what was used against me. My boyfriend beats me up at the
slightest opportunity, but starts to plead and profess love to me as soon as I
was done and ready to leave for good. I found myself in a circle and I was just
going round and round. I could not leave due to fear of being alone or the fear
of not finding that love. My mother could not really be bothered about what was
going on in my life, as far as she was concerned I was an adult that could take
care of herself so yeah I had no one to talk to.
After being battered with bruises
that fateful day, I walked into KFC, got myself a meal and sat in a corner to
cry myself out. That was unusual of me because I would normally just sit in my
room and cry after my usual beating but that day God was ready to change my
situation. It was God’s time, so he pushed me right out and I didn’t care what
people thought of me I just cried. Then 2 lovely ladies came up to me, they
were so concerned and wanted to know why I was troubled. I was surprised
because I know people will never normally do that but I didn’t care I wanted to
let it out so I talked, cried, talked, cried till I let it all out. I wanted
someone else to feel my pains with me, to understand the hurt I was going
through and to assure me it was going to be ok.
They let me talk and pour myself
out and that day I got saved, God touched me he purified me, he took me out of
my hurt because all my pains had been nailed on the cross. I was freed because
he rose on the third day. Now it wasn’t easy to let go of my old ways, it
wasn’t easy to live a saved life, I kept falling but God kept reminding me that
I am a Christian because I have realized that I am not perfect, and I know only
him can be the perfection in my life. I had days when I felt like It wasn’t
possible to live a saved life, days when I struggle to believe in God, days
when I go back to that sin and I feel dirty about asking God for forgiveness,
days when I feel that I have failed completely and people out there are judging
me but God reminds me that all his creations are a product of his grace, he
reminded me that I will always fall short of his glory but because His grace is
sufficient for me and He is alive then my life is worth a living. His word in 2
Corinthians 12:9 says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my
power is made perfect in weakness. I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”
Always remember when you feel out
of place, when the world feels like its ending or crashing on you, when you are
in desperate need of love, when you start thinking its only those male figures
out there that can provide you love. Remember that your father in heaven is the
only true love.
1
John 4:16 says
Now we
have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and
whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him.
John
3:16;
For God
so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him
will not perish but have eternal life.
What manner love can beat this type
of love? Always remember this because He is the only one that can give you the
type of love you need.
Are struggling with that one sin?
You want to change but you keep going back to it? Drinking, stealing, sexual
sin, lying, backbiting, gossiping… the list goes on. Whatever sin it is you are
struggling with God sees your heart, he knows your struggle and he knows you
want to change. All you need to remember is that he wants to use you, let him
break you, mold you, and use you. Don’t try too hard to overcome it on your own
because you can’t do it on your own, only He can help you, only He can deliver
you.
“Come unto me all ye that labor
and are heavy laden and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28
“If we confess our sins, he is
faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
“Repent then and turn to God, so
that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the
lord.” Acts 3:19
